So near and yet so far

If you go by my last weigh-in, I’m only 2 pounds away from my Club 10 award. And a two pound loss is easy, right? Apparently not this week!

I’ve managed to mislay my motivation. I know it’s around here somewhere, because saw it only a couple of weeks ago. But I put it down somewhere when I was so sick with my tooth thing, and now I can’t find it again. 

The up-shot is that I’ve been eating all manner of bad stuff this week. Around half my meals have been Slimming World recipes, but the other half have not. And the snacks? Don’t get me started on the thousands of calories of sweets I’ve been shovelling into my gob for the last few days.

I have weigh-in tomorrow morning, and unless all my limbs fall off overnight, then the chances of me losing this week are less than nil.

And so, the temptation is to not go to class. I’m sure we all understand that feeling. It’s easier, when we know we’ve been bad, to stay away – or to weigh and go – so that we don’t have to face the indignity of justifying our gain to the group.

I’m in that position right now. My rational brain is saying to me “Get along to group in the morning, and sort your shit out!”, while the irrational bit of the brain is saying “Sod that! Lie in and bacon sandwiches for brunch!”.

As of this second, I really don’t know if the rational or irrational side is going to win. But at least I haven’t cancelled my alarm for tomorrow morning, yet…

Losing my mojo

I can’t seem to get in the zone at the moment. And I’m definitely going way over my syn limits pretty much every day.

I know what I’m doing wrong, but I can’t help myself.

My only mitigation, and the one thing that stops me going crazy, is to keep going to my Slimming World class. I might be maintaining or gaining, but I know if I didn’t go to class I’d be way worse!

So by keeping going to class I can hopefully keep in a holding pattern, until I find my mojo again.

Slow and steady progress

For the last two weeks I’ve lost half a pound each week. Normally I would be really disheartened by such a small loss, but in actual fact, I’m delighted!

A couple of months ago I got myself stuck in an up-down-up-down cycle with my weight. My losses were big – between 3 and 5 pounds – but the week after any loss, I had an equally big gain. So when you average it out, over six weeks, I only lost 2 pounds in total.

So why am I so pleased with a half a pound loss? Well, it means that for the last two weeks I’ve managed to break the up-down cycle. It can’t have been good for me with my weight yo-yoing up and down like that. And so I’m delighted that I’m now back in a continuous loss pattern, even if each loss is small.

All I need to do now is turn each half-pound loss into a 2-pound loss for the next four weeks, and I’ll still be on target to get my 4 stone award by Christmas!

The wheels have fallen off the wagon

I’m not feeling very good about my recent weight-loss, or lack thereof.

The figures don’t lie. For the first two months when I joined Slimming World I was going great guns. In just nine weeks I had lost 2½ stones, averaging a loss of about 4 pounds a week. It was falling off me, and I was winning Slimmer of the Week or Month almost every week. It seemed easy. Follow the plan, eat plenty of speed, and enjoy my syns – and the weight loss will follow.

However, we then went on holiday at the start of September and it all fell apart. We enjoyed our break, and ate and drank well, and it made a dent – albeit not a large one – in my progress. But ever since, I’ve done terribly. My weight has yo-yoed up and down from week to week for the last 2 months; so much so that during September and October I’ve only lost a total of 2 pounds!

I went from losing an average of 4 pounds a week to only 2 pounds in two months. That’s not good.

It can only be attributed to one thing. I’ve been going off-plan far too many times in the last while. I guess I’d grown a bit complacent, and told myself I could cheat on the odd day and get away with it. But I’ve not been getting away with it. Every time I’ve raided the cupboards at home, or thrown caution to the wind when ordering a meal out, it’s come back to bite me in the ass.

To be honest, I feel pretty disgusted with myself, and I feel a total fraud for accepting the Mr Sleek award in group during the week. I really don’t deserve it. Not based on my recent lack of progress.

I’ve lost my way, and I need to find my way back. Because I don’t want to quit. I don’t want to give up and go back to how I used to me. My life is already immeasurably better for losing 3 stone, and I know it could be even better for losing another 3 stone or more. I just need to renew my determination.

I need to question every decision. Every time someone places a menu in front of me, every time I go food shopping, every time I pass a convenience store, and every time I open the fridge door. I need to remind myself, every time, why I’m doing this. And each and every time I need to make a better decision. I need to ignore the voices that tell me I can cheat “just this once”, because inevitably there ends up being far too many “just this once” times.

My amazing wife, who is on this Slimming World journey with me, has suggested to me that I need to go back to basics. She has suggested that I re-read my food optimising book, and start keeping a food diary. And when she said it, I must admit at the time I pretty much dismissed the ideas. But upon reflection, I’m starting to think she’s right. Maybe I do need to start again from scratch, and follow the plan to the letter.

One pound a month

I went to my Slimming World class last night for the first time in 4 weeks.

We missed two meetings because we were on holiday, and then I missed last Wednesday because I was in A&E!

And so, over the course of almost a month, what did I lose? One pound! Just one tiny little pound. Or 453 grams for those who prefer metric.

Over the previous 4 weeks I had lost a stone, so I guess I was a little disappointed to weigh-in at just a pound down from the end of August. But then again, it’s been a fairly unusual few weeks.

We went totally off-plan while on holiday – eating and drinking pretty much whatever we wanted, and enjoying as many cocktails as our wallets could stand. And then, I spend two days in hospital last week, eating nothing but bread and water (I exaggerate, but I’m looking for sympathy here!).

Over that time I’ve probably put on weight, lost, put some more back on, and lost again. My diet has been very inconsistent, and my levels of exercise have been curtailed from what they normally would be. So it’s no wonder that I haven’t lost more. Indeed, some would say it’s amazing that I haven’t put on weight!

One thing it has done – it’s made me more determined to stick to my food optimising, and to aim for a decent loss for next week. I’d like to lose 4 lbs, as that would take me to my 3 stone award. Let’s see how I do…