Letting go of guilt

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

We had a bit of a discussion about feeling guilty in our class today. It was worrying the number of people who felt weighed down by guilty feelings.

We all feel guilty about our actions, and one of the most common sentiments I tend to hear is that we feel guilty that we let ourselves get overweight in the first place.

I can’t believe I let things get this bad

Beating ourselves up for stuff that happened in the past is not healthy. It’s emotional baggage that’s much too heavy to be carrying around. Instead we need to learn to forgive ourselves, draw a line under the actions of the past, and concentrate on the positive changes we can make for the future.

Dwelling on the past and how we got to be overweight will only make us feel more miserable – and less likely to take action to lose weight and become more healthy.

I feel bad putting myself first

This seems to be especially true of those of us who are carers for our family or friends, where we are more used to putting everyone else’s needs ahead of our own. We feel selfish for even taking an hour out of our week to attend a Slimming World class.

However our loved ones don’t begrudge us some “me” time. In fact, because they love us so much, they want to support us in our journey. They know that being more healthy (and hopefully lighter) will make us happier, and give us more energy to invest in our relationships.

I fell totally off-plan at the weekend, and it was Tuesday before I got my head straight and back on-plan.

We’ve all been there when one blow-out sabotages not only that day, but often the few days after. We make one bad choice, and we beat ourselves up so much about it that we give up and compound that bad choice with a bunch of other ones.

What we need to accept is that, on occasion, we’re going to go off the rails. It happens, so there’s no point denying it. But our best response to it is not to feel guilty about it, and continue sabotaging our progress, but to accept it for what it was and move on as quickly as possible.

I know that if I can quickly let go of the guilt of a binge session and get back on-plan as soon as possible, then I’m going to stand a good chance of pulling it back.

I might not end up with a nice weight loss at my next Slimming World class, but I’m doing a hell of a lot less damage than if I were to stay off-plan until my next weigh-in.

I had a bad week so I won’t stay to class

One of the most common reasons for people not staying for class seems to be the embarrassment or guilt of a bad week. I know I’ve weighed and walked straight out the door a number of time when I’ve gained.

But it seems to me that when I do gain, that is often the time when I need the most help, and should be the time that I make a special effort to stay for class. After all it’s not a judgemental environment. I’ve never heard a consultant criticise someone for having a bad week. Instead all they want to do is help us!

And it’s not just the consultant. Everyone in the room is there to support us – primarily because everyone in the room knows exactly how we feel because they have gone through the exact same thing themselves!

There’s any number of reasons why we might feel guilty, but it’s worth reminding ourselves that guilt is a very negative emotion – unless, of course, it inspires us to do better. And what we need to do is try and turn that guilt into inspiration as quickly as possible – because it’s only then that we can get on with the important job of losing weight!

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