The wheels have fallen off the wagon

I’m not feeling very good about my recent weight-loss, or lack thereof.

The figures don’t lie. For the first two months when I joined Slimming World I was going great guns. In just nine weeks I had lost 2½ stones, averaging a loss of about 4 pounds a week. It was falling off me, and I was winning Slimmer of the Week or Month almost every week. It seemed easy. Follow the plan, eat plenty of speed, and enjoy my syns – and the weight loss will follow.

However, we then went on holiday at the start of September and it all fell apart. We enjoyed our break, and ate and drank well, and it made a dent – albeit not a large one – in my progress. But ever since, I’ve done terribly. My weight has yo-yoed up and down from week to week for the last 2 months; so much so that during September and October I’ve only lost a total of 2 pounds!

I went from losing an average of 4 pounds a week to only 2 pounds in two months. That’s not good.

It can only be attributed to one thing. I’ve been going off-plan far too many times in the last while. I guess I’d grown a bit complacent, and told myself I could cheat on the odd day and get away with it. But I’ve not been getting away with it. Every time I’ve raided the cupboards at home, or thrown caution to the wind when ordering a meal out, it’s come back to bite me in the ass.

To be honest, I feel pretty disgusted with myself, and I feel a total fraud for accepting the Mr Sleek award in group during the week. I really don’t deserve it. Not based on my recent lack of progress.

I’ve lost my way, and I need to find my way back. Because I don’t want to quit. I don’t want to give up and go back to how I used to me. My life is already immeasurably better for losing 3 stone, and I know it could be even better for losing another 3 stone or more. I just need to renew my determination.

I need to question every decision. Every time someone places a menu in front of me, every time I go food shopping, every time I pass a convenience store, and every time I open the fridge door. I need to remind myself, every time, why I’m doing this. And each and every time I need to make a better decision. I need to ignore the voices that tell me I can cheat “just this once”, because inevitably there ends up being far too many “just this once” times.

My amazing wife, who is on this Slimming World journey with me, has suggested to me that I need to go back to basics. She has suggested that I re-read my food optimising book, and start keeping a food diary. And when she said it, I must admit at the time I pretty much dismissed the ideas. But upon reflection, I’m starting to think she’s right. Maybe I do need to start again from scratch, and follow the plan to the letter.

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