It’s a taster night tonight at our Slimming Group, and no doubt this afternoon all the members of the group are frantically scraping something together to bring along.
You could see the looks of horror on people’s faces (and the colour drain from their cheeks) last week as Kate, our consultant, announced we were going to have another taster night. It’s not that a taster night is a horrible experience in itself. It’s just the hassle of having to prepare some food to bring along.
It’s not as if you can bring just any old food. It needs to be healthy food, of course. And syn-free if possible, And something appetising. And something impressive. And something that people can easily sample in a buffet setting. So the list of options becomes ever narrower, and most of the group ends up spending the entire week googling taster night ideas.
And then of course, there’s the etiquette of approaching the table on the night. We present our tupperware offering on the table, and stand back. But as a group of fatties, we’ve all felt the fear of being judged by others for approaching a buffet table too quickly. And so invariably nobody touches the food for a good 20 minutes. We all gaze longingly at the table laden with goodies, occasionally wiping away the drool off our chins, but don’t dare to be seen as the first one to look like a greedy guts!
Eventually someone breaks the blockage, and dares to take a celery stick, and then the crowds rush forth. And within minutes all the good stuff has gone! It’s like a plague of locusts has descended and picked the table clean!
It’s only after you’ve polished off your third piece of cake that the person who made it finally admits that it’s full of sugar and fat, and is actually 12 syns a portion. Bugger!
Anyway, so the reason why we’re having a taster night tonight is that we’re also voting for Miss Slinky and Mr Sleek in class. It doesn’t seem any time since we were voting for Woman and Man of the Year, and I’m not entirely such what the difference is between the two competitions. Maybe it’s just so that someone else gets the chance to win something! Which seems fair. In my group there’s only two regular blokes that attend, and I won Man of the Year a couple of months ago, so maybe it’s the other guy’s turn?